Our little family

Wow. Sure has been a while since I posted on here, and a lot sure has happened since then!
A couple months after we lost our little girl, God decided it was in store for our family...another baby! After a long 9 months awaiting baby boys arrival, our "little" Grayson James was born! 3 months later we are enjoying every minute of being a family of four! God has blessed us tremendously. I am forever thankful!

Thankful...

Wow. How fast time surely does go. I never believed it when everybody told me, "Kids grow up so fast, cherish every moment!" Well, I do just that. I cherish the moments Kayli sits on my lap as we watch Dora together in the morning and she eats her cup of cheerios and drinks her sippy cup with milk...I cherish the moments I am awake with her at night and she falls asleep in my arms. She's so busy that moments like that don't happen too often any more.

As I look into the future I can't hardly believe that February is just a mere 3 months away. If all had gone well during our past pregnancy, in 3 months we would be holding our second addition to the family, another little girl. While my heart still aches in wanting to hold her just one time, no matter how "imperfect" she may have been, she would've been perfect in my eyes, and I can't wait for the day I will get to see her in Heaven.

Every day I see people posting a status about one thing they are thankful for each day. I thought about doing the same, but instead I just decided I would write...

I am thankful for wonderful family and friends we can create wonderful memories with...A great Church to be a member of, a job, freedom, my list could go on and on!
But especially this...
I am thankful that God has blessed me with a wonderful husband to provide for our family. He is hard working and the best husband I could ask for. He is such a wonderful Daddy to our precious little girl. Without him I wouldn't have been able to make it through the past few months. As hard as the past few months have been on us, we have had an overwhelming amount of support and prayers from family, and friends, some that we hardly talk to. ...As hard as it is for me to say this; I am thankful that God took our little girls life when He did. She will never have to suffer a day here on earth. It's just been another "one of those days" where I miss her so much. I wish I was still able to feel her little kicks and punches. It could've happened sooner and that may have been easier for us to deal with, but I thank God that I was able to feel her kicks while I could and buld a connection with her. As hard as some days get, I KNOW she is perfect and in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father! ...and for that, I am thankful!

Family Pictures

It was cold and WINDY and we had a crabby little girl, but we took our chances and had family pictures taken!

(Due to facebook making photos look so grainy I wanted to add them on our blog!)

 

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is i'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like thisSo I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One who's chosen Me
To carry you
Selah - I will carry you

Another Door Closed

Just when I couldn't find the words to explain how I've been feeling, the doctor handed me a paper with this poem on it:

For those few weeks...
I had you to myself.
That seems too short a time

to be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks
I came to know you...and to love you.

You came to trust me with your life,

oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks-
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,

plans, dreams, and aspirations

A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks-
It wasn't enough time to convince others

how special and important you were.

How odd, a truly unique person has recently passed

and no one is mourning about the passing.

Just a mere few weeks-
and no "normal" personal would cry all night

over a tiny, fragile baby,

or get depressed and withdrawn day after endless day...
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks, MY LITTLE ONE

You darted in and out of my life too quickly.

But it seems that's all the time you needed

to make my life so much richer and...

to give me a small glimpse of eternity....

-Susan Erling

"I will carry you.."

I don't know where to begin - I feel like the Lord has blessed me tremendously. I have the best husband I could ever ask for, and the most beautiful daughter who is such a little character, she's constantly making us smile. We have such wonderful families and friends who have been by our side through all of this. I want to thank each and every one of you for the prayers, thoughts, flowers, cards, etc...You all have been such a blessing.
I pray that you all find something out of me "blogging" about this. Maybe it will touch someones life in a way, I don't know that it will...but I hope it does. I feel that this has changed me as a person, and has taught me to cherish every moment. God sure has shown me a lot in the past few weeks...I never knew I had the strength that has gotton me through the weeks, but I did. I've felt so much comfort and peace through everyones prayers.
We ask for prayers throughout this next week. It's going to be a pretty tough week, tomorrow we go in to find out what happened with our baby and what the chances of it happening again are. We hope and pray that the chances of something like this happening again are very slim.


We will always love and remember our little one. I thank God for the moments I had, the kicks and punches I felt for a short time...I feel so blessed to have been able to have that. ...Can't wait to meet our perfect baby in Heaven some day...

"I will carry you...all my life. I will praise the one whose chosen me, to carry you.."

Trouble...

I thought life was busy with a baby...Life with a TODDLER is A LOT more busy! I still can't believe she's a toddler already, running around and getting into trouble! She's always keeping us busy, and of course, laughing at some of the things she does. She sure loves to climb...

She found a way to get on the couch...

I don't think it worked out how she thought it would...

She thought she was so cool...until she fell down..she said "OOOO"

...and got back up again. Naughty Naughty! :-P

...and here's trouble. Talking on the phone and driving already.

While life may be busy keeping up with her, we sure enjoy every second of it! So I don't always like tripping over her toys (since she empties her WHOLE toy box EVERY DAY), or not being able to clean my house like I need to - but I wouldn't trade any of it for a thing! She has such a great personality, we couldn't ask for more!